I wrote a personal post last month called Flowers: I Am Trying. It struck worry into the hearts of some of my extended family members. My parents gave me a really long talk about how I can’t be sharing my feelings online and that, if I am to talk to anyone, it should be them instead of “the whole world.”
I deleted it. I felt discouraged, defeated, and left with nowhere else to voice my thoughts. The entry was supposed to be encouraging. Had I missed the mark? Shared a little too much? I think my parents were just worried it made me look like I wanted attention, and that it brought attention to my life. But my life is nothing to be ashamed of.
I have scaled emotional mountains and worked tirelessly at things that should have come easier to me. I have battled with the taboo and won every single match because I am still breathing, I still have hope, and I still have love. Although I am grateful to have extended family that cares for me so much, I want to let you all know that I am okay. Life is difficult; it is for everyone. I have reached out for professional help in the past, and I am not afraid to do so again. I know my limits. I know when it’s getting bad.
You are all very important to me. I want to let you in on my life. It’s just time for me to start taking control. I look forward to writing Flowers: I Am Trying a second time.